Although it does not completely eliminate financial problems, having partners who are both working is ideal. It is common these days to have a husband who is unemployed and is solely dependant on the wife. As a partner, just how much should you expect from him? In this article, Paida Mpaso, writes about the hardships that usually follow when the husband is unemployed.
When her husband was out of the job, Sara Chimozo, (not her real name), who got used to being spoilt by her husband, thought things within the house would not change much. Much as she was shocked that her husband had been laid off from work, she somehow believed her husband would find another job in no time.
After five months of being out of job, Sara could not believe that her husband was still at home—unemployed. After almost a year, Sara began to lose her patience.
“I felt I was the only one doing everything in the house. Since my husband was not working, the responsibilities became too much for me. I would shout at him unnecessarily even in front of his friends. All because he was not working.
“I knew I was pressuring him a lot, but I had no choice. I had to make him find a job or do something that would generate income. Little did I know that I was stressing the man. And in no time, he developed high blood pressure,” she says.
According to Sara, her husband was doing all he could to generate income.
“He was working hard, but I was just something else, I never appreciated him in any way. All I wanted was my friends to still look at me as well-to-do. I regret putting my husband through all that. Though he eventually got a job, I still feel bad about what I was doing,” she adds.
Marriage counselor Asiyatu Chiweza believes couples must be open to each other and lay clearly what they expect from each other.
According to Chiweza, talking openly about each other’s finances helps to ease some financial problems.
“If partners are open, each one of them is able to calculate just how much they should expect from their partner, especially if one partner is not working. Much as he is the head of the family, it does not mean he cannot face problems, the solution is just to understand each other and work as a team. Do not strain each other, it’s not necessary. If the wife is able to provide, let her do so. It’s part of the marriage duties,” she adds.