Notes From The Gutter

Of ‘provocative’ attire at stadiums

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For the past week, social media has been awash with debate emanating from an incident in which a soccer fan donned a women’s guild uniform to a football match.

It opened a can of angry worms!

Like one would expect, some saw no issue with the incident while those who did and were angered spoke with thunder to denounce the occurrence.

Kuputatsoka! [it’s tantamount to beckoning a curse!]’ barked an irate woman who invited herself to a discussion we were having with a friend in some store about the incident.

She quickly spat at us Bible verses she found too good to hold to herself. One more word in answer to what the lectures she had to heap on us, it could have been the genesis of World War Three.

The friend and I chose peace and we found it in silence. Every time we bumped into the lady along the spaces between the shelves, the irate madam was up in words.

That is how deep the incident had cut into people’s beliefs.

Without taking sides on who is right or wrong between the two sides, I choose to flip back the pages in my book of soccer football stadium experiences. I have seen plenty of crazy costume or behaviours at matches, not only in Malawi, but the world over!

I have seen people parade imitations of coffins. The message is that of ‘death’ on the soccer field signalling their team’s preparedness to outclass opponents.

But in the largely conservative Malawi, is death that light?

Even the GuleWamkulu masks have been used [or is it abused?] at matches.

Talk about the lyrics in the songs that fly from off the open stands – oh my! Complete work of savagery!

This other time, I saw a group of 15 year olds with danzi [bald heads], all courtesy to a naughty visit to the barbers!

I also don’t have to stretch my memory so far into time to remember men in typical ladies’ attire.

And do I even have to remind people of the naughty young men who now come to matches clad in Malawi Young Pioneer uniforms? What history of violence have the media and other circles attached to these uniforms?

What then is to be deciphered from such uniforms, yet they are celebrated at matches?

And then to the now trending tradition of showering oneself with milk to signify comfort zones on the log table – kumwa tiyi wa mkaka!  Does it go well with people who lack food in their homes?

I have come to conclude that the football stadium worldwide has become a nasty platform for show-offs. Some of such braggers have even gone a bit overboard as to parade nakedness.

What about those that smoke prohibited stuff in broad day light in our stadiums?

To sum it up, the football stadium is nothing less of a conundrum of either senseless or not-so-serious behaviours.

Can we arrest the trend?

Perchance yes, perhaps not. For now, the craze continues! n

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